Kerry Santo

I was created in Liverpool in 1966 and after personal family tragedy ended up in care till the age of 17. This was a very violent environment and feelings of worthlessness crept in. This experience led to bouts of homelessness in different cities and towns in the UK, Ireland and Jersey. I also ended up in some of the worst housing estates that you could ever imagine and life wasn’t very pleasant. It was extremely difficult to find any type of work and this led to a vicious catch 22 situation, which was extremely hard to escape from.

In an attempt to try and better myself I attended a few courses. As I was unsure of what I wanted to do, these varied from bricklaying and engineering to business administration courses (involving learning software application packages such as Microsoft Office and other packages). I still found it extremely difficult to get any sort of office work. I went on a few work placements and had a few temporary assignments but it wasn’t enough to find me regular work as I didn’t have any experience. These courses gave me the skills, but not the self – confidence to gain employment nor the actual experience or a reference.

I wrote to The Big Issue in Scotland and asked them if they would allow me to come into their office and let me gain experience and give me a reference. They agreed and I went in to help around the office doing odd jobs. This was a great help in allowing me to experience interaction with others at all levels.

After six months The Big Issue offered me a position as bookkeeper. I was quite terrified at the prospect and I was flung in the deep end. It was quite an experience to start off with a company that started so small and grew so fast. I was there for around four years.

For the next two years I was in temporary employment through agencies. Although the work was sporadic, it did provide an income and it was varied. It also gave me an insight as to how different companies operate, large and small. I had then been offered an opportunity to start my own business and it opened up the business networks to me but I didnt really fit in as I am quite rough around the edges and had a tendency to intimidate people without meaning to.(that's how I was nicknamed a scarybird). And to be honest I found most of it very shallow, although it did allow me to experience it for myself.

After finding out that some of my friends had taken there own lives and others I had spoke to had attempted to, I decided enough was enough as I too had experienced the feelings of despair and no sense of belonging and had no hope for the future, even after my best efforts of trying and trying and getting nowhere as I didn't fit in.

From then on I have been networking across all the divides and the journey of putting together Modo Fac Central began, what I found was quite off-putting and was disgusted at the games played in the charity sector and that you have to be seen to be doing the right thing rather than actually doing it. I am more concerned about what gets done than how it gets done. As from my own experiences of being homeless I was turned away from many a homeless organisation as I didn't fit the criteria, ie I wasn't bad enough. Once you are in the gutter the help out there is quite pitiful and there is no funding out there for intervention to stop you reaching the gutter.

Throughout this journey of mine or should I call it a saga it has pushed me to my very limits in a good and bad way and I am still standing and through research it has actually helped me to discover values that I have been searching for but couldnt put into words.

So Kerry Santo aka Daughter of Hell, one woman, one purpose and leaving footprints in multiple realities where the light and the dark collide.

So here I stand with my missions and quests laid bare in front of you with enough persistence, determined fury and madness, necessary to make this a reality.

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